first published as “Preferred Pronouns: Neo-Ettiquette or Radical Self Rejection” at CriticalTherapyAntidote.org Last week the Registrar at my university sent out a memo to all students and faculty inviting us to add “preferred pronouns” to our academic profiles. This was followed quickly (about two hours later) by an apologetic correction in which she expressed regret for the “problematic” usage of the word “preferred” and reiterated the message without that “outdated” term. So in one day the school came on strong in promotion of pronouns, then pivoted and came on even stronger. It was at this university where I first encountered the pronoun trend in real life (as opposed to just online): during a group interview for prospective students, we were asked to include our pronouns along with our names as we introduced ourselves. I was surprised and dismayed that a graduate level counseling psychology program would participate in a practice that seemed blatantly mentally unhealthy, though it took me some time to articulate precisely why I found it so disturbing.
Years ago I was part of a radical feminist ecovillage, we discussed the problem of the lack of a gender-nonspecific singular pronoun. So we tried using "co" for that purpose, borrowing from some old utopian novel I'm not remembering the name of. We were never real happy with it though - just doesn't roll off the tongue like he or she.
You're a really good writer; the section on interpersonally exploitative behavior is especially succinct and clear. Thanks for the (enormous, I suspect) efforts to understand this stuff and present your own view in such a well-reasoned way. It helps others, like me, find our voice.
I find myself as a therapist in full agreement with you, and probably like you, wonder, how on earth are so many people in our profession going along with this? I know some of the history, I've done plenty of James Lindsay reading, but still ... It's so weird isn't it? We tend to have big hearts, but there needs to be a comm link to the head as well.
Thank you for the compliments. And yes, it really is weird. It never ceases to amaze me that people are willing to go along with something that seems so clearly wrong. "Weaponized empathy" is a phrase that comes to mind.
Over time I really start to get righteously (one hopes) angry about this. Empathy and compassion are so necessary right now, but the DEI/Trans complex has used this sensitivity as a weak point to sack the castle. It is very difficult, though I think immensely worthwhile, to practice both clarity and compassion together. Many will not understand, at all, at least at first. And it's an inner practice too, because of course there remains internal confusion to uproot along the way.
I think you are right. It is natural to experience a pull to polarity when confronted with concepts that are so potentially harmful and dangerous, but I think finding a balanced, calm, and compassionate response is healthier for us as individuals and for society at large. It is too easy to return hate with hate/indignation with indignation/ intolerance with intolerance... but that just keeps us in conflict.
Quite right. And humane in the best sense of the word. Thank you.
Brilliant!
Years ago I was part of a radical feminist ecovillage, we discussed the problem of the lack of a gender-nonspecific singular pronoun. So we tried using "co" for that purpose, borrowing from some old utopian novel I'm not remembering the name of. We were never real happy with it though - just doesn't roll off the tongue like he or she.
You're a really good writer; the section on interpersonally exploitative behavior is especially succinct and clear. Thanks for the (enormous, I suspect) efforts to understand this stuff and present your own view in such a well-reasoned way. It helps others, like me, find our voice.
I find myself as a therapist in full agreement with you, and probably like you, wonder, how on earth are so many people in our profession going along with this? I know some of the history, I've done plenty of James Lindsay reading, but still ... It's so weird isn't it? We tend to have big hearts, but there needs to be a comm link to the head as well.
Thank you for the compliments. And yes, it really is weird. It never ceases to amaze me that people are willing to go along with something that seems so clearly wrong. "Weaponized empathy" is a phrase that comes to mind.
Over time I really start to get righteously (one hopes) angry about this. Empathy and compassion are so necessary right now, but the DEI/Trans complex has used this sensitivity as a weak point to sack the castle. It is very difficult, though I think immensely worthwhile, to practice both clarity and compassion together. Many will not understand, at all, at least at first. And it's an inner practice too, because of course there remains internal confusion to uproot along the way.
I think you are right. It is natural to experience a pull to polarity when confronted with concepts that are so potentially harmful and dangerous, but I think finding a balanced, calm, and compassionate response is healthier for us as individuals and for society at large. It is too easy to return hate with hate/indignation with indignation/ intolerance with intolerance... but that just keeps us in conflict.
Very well put