Transphobia is a False Premise

A phobia is an irrational fear of something. According to the dictionary, it is a “persistent, abnormal, and irrational fear of a specific thing or situation that compels one to avoid it, despite the awareness and reassurance that it is not dangerous.” Etymologically phobia comes from the Greek phobos: "fear, panic, terror, outward show of fear; object of fear or terror, originally ‘flight’"

In the case of “transphobia,” phobia is being redefined: "Transphobia” is “fear OR HATRED” of transgender people.  The word was originally coined in the late 1980s or early ‘90s, but really only began to be used in popular culture sometime in the 2010s.

Hatred not typically a defining part of other phobias. And other phobias are identified by the phobic individual.  I will know if I am terrified of spiders.  With "transphobia,” your phobia is identified by someone else- despite your own belief that you are not “transphobic” you can receive this label from an outside source if you say or do something deemed offensive or insensitive.  It’s not really a “phobia” at all, then- it’s more of an epithet or pejorative political label.

Transphobia is essentially a made up term to get you to ignore your concerns about gender ideology and what it means for a loved one to decide that they are transgender. In other terms it is a “thought-stopping cliché.”

People who say they are transgender are just like everyone else in that they as deserving of love and respect as anyone else, but their preoccupation with gender ideology can eclipse other aspects of their identity, and often a part of their ideology includes demanding that those around them reflect their gender fixation back to them in a particular way.  I want to encourage you to reject that framework.  Going along with the gender ideology framework is not helpful for your loved one, who is essentially at war with his or her body and reproductive system.  Remaining firmly grounded in truth and focused on other aspects of the individual and your relationship with them is more compassionate because it does not encourage them in their self-rejection.

If you do resist, however, you will likely be called a transphobe.  I want to go over some of the ways this term is being used and get into some of the logical distortions and inconsistencies in the gender framework.  It is my hope that if you understanding how convoluted this term is you can become less concerned about being called “transphobic,” and less reactive if you receive this accusation.

A few ways “transphobia is being defined in popular culture:

Healthline: https://www.healthline.com/health/transphobia

Transphobia extends beyond a “phobia” to include hatred, dismissal, and disgust. Basically, it describes any attitude, feeling, or behavior that:

• stigmatizes trans people

• denies their identities

• treats them as unequal or less than human

A person doesn’t have to put these behaviors or beliefs into words for them to count as transphobia, either.

Maybe they don’t consider trans people “real” men or women. Or they tell themselves, “I don’t have any problem with trans people — but I would never date one.”

Transphobia can include any discrimination, invalidation, or negative judgment and beliefs related to gender identity.

This definition is so broad as to include all negative beliefs about gender identity.  You do not have to fear or hate any transgender individual or all transgender people to be transphobic, you just have to question or doubt any aspect of their ideology.

Therapyroute: https://www.therapyroute.com/article/why-the-terms-transgender-and-identify-as-is-transphobic-by-v-levy

WHY THE TERMS TRANSGENDER AND IDENTIFY AS IS [sic] TRANSPHOBIC

The term transgender is transphobic is because it stems from the idea that we were one gender and are transitioning to another gender.

Someone who is trans, unless otherwise identified, was not one gender and becoming another gender.

As a trans person and non binary person, I have always been trans and I have always been non binary.

According to this author, even most other transgender people, who call themselves “transgender” are transphobic.

Business Insider: https://www.businessinsider.com/phrases-you-should-never-say-to-transgender-people-2020-11?op=1

Referring to someone as "biologically" female or male can be invalidating to a trans person's gender because it implies they are not, in fact, the gender they identify as. Instead, saying someone was "assigned male at birth" or "assigned female at birth" is better. It acknowledges that, at birth, we are assigned genders decided by our genitalia, rather than our actual gender identity.  

Not all trans people experience gender dysphoria. Their experience is equally valid. Like any other mental health issue, dysphoria is a private matter. 

This is a particularly fraught bit of wordplay.  In order to avoid the word “biologically,” which is apparently “transphobic,” the author wants you to use many more words to say essentially the same thing.

Planned Parenthood: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/transgender/whats-transphobia

Transphobia is now referred to as transmisia. The “misia” in transmisia means “hatred.” Binarism is the belief that there are only two genders.

Planned Parenthood sees the problem with redefining a phobia, and offers two neologisms instead.

The Advocate: https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2019/12/14/refusing-date-trans-people-transphobic

Is Refusing to Date Trans People Transphobic?

Finally, there's the pretext of "I only date people I can have children with," the implication being that procreation is more important than any other part of a relationship. This is generally something you hear from straight people (since lesbian and gay couples will need help with children regardless) and is generally just a cop out.

The writer sees “phobia” when people decline to seek reproductive partnerships with people who, by definition, are at war with their own reproductive systems. Gender ideology essentially prioritizes cosmetic sexual appearance over function, so it makes sense that adherents would devalue others’ desire for procreative pair bonding.

From Variety: https://variety.com/2022/music/news/jason-aldean-greenroom-wife-transphobic-comments-1235357653/

Jason Aldean’s publicity firm of 17 years, Nashville-based outfit the GreenRoom, has resigned following comments posted by Aldean’s wife, Brittany, that many have considered to be transphobic. In an Instagram post on Aug. 23, Brittany Aldean — who has 2.2 million followers — posted a before-and-after makeup video with the caption, “I’d really like to thank my parents for not changing my gender when I went through my tomboy phase. I love this girly life.” Three days later, Brittany wrote, “Advocating for the genital mutilation of children under the disguise of love and calling it ‘gender affirming care’ is one of the worst evils…Love is protecting your child until they are mature enough as an adult to make their own life decisions.” The comment drew negative responses from many people, including country singer Maren Morris, who wrote, “It’s so easy to, like, not be a scumbag human? Sell your clip-ins and zip it, Insurrection Barbie.”

Brittany used a pretty strong word there: “mutilate.”  But is it accurate? Consulting the dictionary again, we see that it means: disfigure, maim by depriving of a characteristic part;” "cut off a limb or any important part of;” "to cut off, lop off, cut short; maim. Properly, to deprive of some principal part, especially by cutting off

“Gender Affirming Care” does by definition involve genital mutilation, in many cases, because breasts and penises are cut off.  When a loved one gets breast implants or a nose job, we could argue that they have “disfigured” themselves, but removing a body part altogether is a more extreme modification.  And genital removal has permanent reproductive consequences, as does hormonal manipulation through medication.  There is a fine line between cosmetic enhancement or alteration, and self-harm.  This is the case across the lifespan, but is particularly concerning and contentious when it is being allowed and encouraged for young people who are not developmentally capable of understanding the consequences of permanent body modification.  This IS indeed scary for many people, especially parents; but that fear is not irrational, and therefore not phobic.  Trans-concerned, then?  Trans-wary?  Trans-skeptical?

So it’s confusing and contradictory, isn’t it?

Some points of confusion:

Is fear socially impermissible?  Is hate?  Fear of transphobia is fear of a kind of fear, and hate of transphobia or transimisia is hate of a kind of hate.  Are these ok?

Is transgenderism a mental disorder or an identity?

If it’s a mental disorder, why should we not express concern about it increasing or impacting someone we care about?  I don’t like to see a loved one afflicted by depression, but no-one calls me depressivephobic or says I’m trying to erase depressed people or deny their existence.

If it’s an identity, why can’t people dislike it?  There are lots of people who hate lawyers or politicians, but they aren’t lawphobic or politophobic.  Perhaps people see them as rigid or intolerant in their thinking, but there isn’t a mass movement to shun and shame them.  Some people think it’s terrible to send young children to daycare, but this is not seen as erasing working mothers’ existence.  Some people think Christians are prudish and deluded, but this isn’t called Christianophobia is not considered “literal violence”

Is Gender Affirming Care necessary mental health support or elective cosmetic medicine?

If gender is independent of and not about your body, why must the body be altered to affirm gender?

If it’s mental health care, why is the only treatment to lean into the disorder?  If transgenderism causes so much anguish that transgender people are highly vulnerable to suicide and tremendously sensitive to other people’s opinions, why not focus treatments on encouraging them to find internal strength and resilience? Why accept that this disorder is permanent and reify it, unlike with other disorders where we try to resolve them or alleviate symptoms?

If it’s elective cosmetic medicine, why build mental health campaigns around it and why encourage very young people to access it?  We don’t do this with rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, or other forms of body modification.  These surgeries are also not funded by insurance.

Like it or not we are going through a time when many people, particularly young people, are caught up in obsession over gender.  This means that increasingly you will encounter people who believe in a gender identity or consider themselves to be transgender.  I believe it is important to remember the humanity and dignity of the individual before you, but not to allow yourself to be intimidated into accepting an irrational framework for communication.  You can respect another person’s right to their own beliefs without being compelled to participate in them. Be honest in your speech, and if another person reacts emotionally that is their choice, not your responsibility.  Adherents to gender ideology place Identity before personhood.  Do not make the same mistake.  Reject the notion of transphobia, and put the person first, not the identity.